The Purple One
Clunk!! Clangity Clang clang. Ticcity Taccety Ticcity Taccety. The TARDIS inwardly cringed as the reverberations catapulted through her console room. The Doctor was feeling particularly energetic and so, simultaneously knitting his first attempt at a jumper and trying out a spot of tap dancing. Cccraaack!! paDING! Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp blooff! ‘I hate knitting!’ The Doctor flumped onto a chair, grumped out his bottom lip and crossed his arms. The broken ends of the knitting needles rolled across the floor away from the furious heap of woolly tangles.
There was an awkward atmosphere collecting in the silence when SNAP!! The Doctor clapped his hands sharply and his fringe swung wildly as he launched himself off the chair and went sliding across the floor towards a trapdoor near the base of the console. He avidly tore it open and wrenched out a heavy wooden crate, flung open the lid and reached in. His various collections of space junk scratched against his shoulder as he reached to the bottom of the crate and retrieved a small, scruffy, yellowing scrap of paper. On it was written a message in Gallifreyan. ‘ Haha!!’ beamed the Doctor as he gambolled around the console flicking switches and yanking levers. The TARDIS rumbled into life and blasted through the Time Vortex.
After a more bumpy ride than usual, the TARDIS came to rest and the Doctor swung the monitor round to see where the Gallifreyan code he’d inputted from the scrap of paper had landed him. The monitor seemed to be on the blink though, as all it showed was a dark blank screen, puzzled, the Doctor scratched his head, adjusted his bow tie and strode to the TARDIS doors. Click glushmf! After unexpectedly having to shove the door open, the Doctor had stepped right into a glutinous lake of thick orange goop, which encroached rapidly up his body and swallowed him up to chest level. He wrestled his arms free, reached inside his jacket and pulled out a torch which lit up a vast domed ceiling.
Claaack was the noise that suddenly roared against the Doctor’s eardrums, he grabbed his head and looked up to see the curious sight of a sharp white blade piercing the ceiling and guillotining straight towards him. The Doctor hurriedly grabbed onto the TARDIS and hauled himself through the doors, pounced onto the switches and levers and dematerialised out of danger.
After a moment in flight, the TARDIS engines settled down again but they did not stop the Doctor’s momentum as he was flung against the walls. The TARDIS was uncontrollably being juggernauted this way and that, upside down and right way up. The Doctor was launched towards the doors which exploded open to shower the clinging on Doctor in wateryish waves of gloopy liquid. The Doctor was horrified to see another sharp white blade gauging into his ship. He dug his fingernails into her door and kicked out his feet in an attempt to pull himself back inside to safety. The TARDIS took another tumble which pinballed the Doctor splat into the TARDIS console, he held on tight and kicked the levers, and breathed a sigh of relief as he successfully escaped.
Amy was placing the luxury crackers onto the whimsical Christmas table cloth, when she heard a familiar wheezing sound. She smiled and shouted to Rory who was again peering into the oven inspecting the too slowly-browning Turkey. The front door opened to reveal a freshly dry cleaned Doctor in a sparkly gold bow tie who was then enveloped in a Pondiferous hug. Rory grabbed a tin and went to welcome the Doctor. The Doctor happily picked out one of the proffered treats, unwrapped it and popped it into his mouth whereupon he immediately realised what the terror was that he’d just escaped from. The promptly spat out chocolate found itself hidden in a plant pot and as Amy and Rory attended to the roast potatoes, a large tin of Quality Street was surreptitiously slid under the sofa and out of sight.